I just talked with my wife for an update on things with our daughter. I came home yesterday afternoon to the low temperatures by the Pamlico. We are looking for some snow overnight tonight. B-u-r-r-r-r!
The hospital called my daughter last night to inform her he had checked out--to whom and exactly where, we do not know. Sara had talked with him when he called sometime yesterday. He was chuckling that he had smashed the windshield of my truck and put a couple of good sized dents in it before having it towed. Additionally, he had trashed the inside and scattered papers, notes, and important things all over the floorboard. His only question was: "What did your dad say about his truck?"
There was not one dab of remorse or humanity showing. This tells my daughter the most important thing she needs to know: The man has not changed and checked out far too soon to have any real effect from whatever treatment he might have gotten.
It leads me to conclude that, at this point, we just have a slightly caged beast still trying to show "he is the man." NOT!!!!!
A friend asked Sara yesterday, "Do you want to risk him picking up any or all the boys and driving his car off a cliff to show you can't have them?" Is Sara ever thinking between that question and what he did to my truck.
Her answer is: "HELL NO!" She is just that mad and should be! The locks have been changed on the house. Her Protective Order has not yet been served. A letter has been sent to his parents along with the Order by Sara's lawyer. He should be served today if all goes well. Thereafter, any hostile calls, words, or actions will get him the cuffs and jail cell.
They are all asking why he is focusing his anger so much on me. I know the answer.
It is because I am the male figure in his wife's life who is protecting her and standing up, at long last, to him. If he wants to focus on me, it's OK. In fact, it is welcomed. I can take whatever he should choose to say. I am strong enough to defend myself if the Deputies are not present. He may try to get me, but he will get more than he bargained for. I may be old, but I deal with dangerous trees every day I work, and I always come up with ways to take them down without damage to myself or the customer's property.
Another source of his wrath is the fact every time he has come in and found the children there along with me, they are cuddled around me and being treated with love to which they are responding. Some weeks ago when I was there and the twins, age 5, were too sick to go to school, Sara asked if she should call their dad or would they be OK with Pa Pa. "Pa Pa!!!" was their cry and we had a great day together playing and snuggling. Do they ever need such treatment from a man they can trust. I also encourage some "boy things" Momma and Gam would never allow. God help any boy totally raised and controlled by a women. They don't quite know how to lighten up nor how to get really tough as needed, in my opinion--it's just my "man thang."
Well, we will see what today holds. Lonya will keep me posted and I do have enough fuel this time to make the 1.5 hour trip to my daughter's house, if necessary. Let's hope it will not be.
My job I was to do today has been put off by 2 weeks although I am despirate for any money I can make. The ice storm predicted 5 days ago is quickly degenerating to some light snow overnight tonight and east of I-95. Not exactly a crisis with downed trees everywhere----darn!!!
Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Since Christmas--ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE!!!
This has been a horrible week for my daughter!
We were there for Christmas to insure safety and protection--he was there to haunt and threaten.
Monday afternoon he came stomping in and commanded we leave for a while so he could be with his sons. It was about 2:00 when we left with commands from him that we not return until 5:00. My wife called our daughter and she planned to be home about 5:00 as well.
We came home and started fixing supper. He showed up in a rage. My daughter called the Nash County Sheriff's Department dispatcher while standing outside. He raged at my wife inside the house so loud you could hear him outside. She was not moving an inch!
Shortly 3 Deputies raced up without lights or sirens and they yelled at him not to go inside the house. He went on in and "hit the ceiling" with raging inside. The officers stood close by. They were a calming effect for us--a source of rage for him. Shortly he was 2" from my face raging at me to the point the officers stepped forward with one snapping the Taser in addition to the others telling him to control it or he would be arrested. Everyone but him kept their cool.
He went back around into the den telling them to just shoot him and get it over! Then he hit the floor so hard it shook the house and began to beat his head, fists, and feet on the floor like a 5 year old. Finally they escorted him outside while we threw a few things together, turned off the stove on supper, and gave the boys a little to eat.
Within 30 minutes his car returned and raced across the yard leaving deep tracks. There he was raging from outside the car with its headlights shining on the front door. My daughter was calling her lawyer for advice. I was calling the Deputies back. They were there in about 5 minutes.
My daughter's lawyer was advising her to stay in the house lest she be accused of abandoning it and he could say he owned it. She was to the point I have never seen a woman--dazed and confused, trying to think, screaming at anyone trying to comfort or give advice. Finally she collapsed into my wife's arms and sobbed on her shoulders.
We left the house after the Deputy looked my daughter in the eye and said, "For your own safety, just leave and go somewhere safe. We will vouch that you left this house for your safety and did not abandon it."
My daughter heard that kind officer clearly. When none of us could convince her she should leave along with the boys and us, his words penetrated the confusion.
We exited with him sitting in his car as the (5 now) Deputies stood around his car. As the boys left he was saying, "Bye, boys, I love you." They did not know what to make of it all. They were all in tears and so were we. After going to the hospital parking lot where my wife works, we met again and decided the Bayview Cottage 1.5 hours away was a better place--and the dog could be there too. My daughter was driving so fast down the 4-lane with her children that I got in front and slowed down so we would not get a ticket. We were safer, but we were not yet to safety of the cottage. There, if he followed us, he would be trespassing if he set his foot on my property. We have an equally efficient Sheriff's Department where we live.
The next day our daughter had to go back to her work as Manager of a big store. It was "exchange and return items" time at the store.
Within a few hours our daughter was calling: he had baracaided himself in the house and his parents had had him taken by the Deputies to our local Emergency Room where they quickly transferred him to one of our State Mental Hospitals. The parents wanted our daughter to meet with them and decide what to do. According to them, he had "destroyed" the inside of the house, broken several bones in his hands, and was found sitting on the couch with a knife by his side and a 5 gallon gas can by his side.
My daughter decided, wisely, not to meet with them. She had been unable to do anything with him for 15 years. They had had him for 20+ years and created this monster who does not know how to love--starting with himself. It was their turn to deal with it alone and not blame her for what happened.
Again, my daughter was in emotional turmoil. She had a court time for a Judge to decide on a protective order and possible immediate divorce with no right for her husband except to pay in a timely fashion what was decided for alimony, child support, and what to do with a "destroyed" house.
At 3:00 my daughter, accompanied by 4 friends and Deputy, went to the house. Fortunately they did not find much more damage than had already been done to slammed, broken, and fist beaten doors. So, if he had broken fingers and was bleeding, as described by the parents, why was there no blood everywhere? There was no gas can or knife left behind. Was it another momma-made-up story or what? A later phone call from parents to my daughter got the confession from them that they had moved evidence and put the knife and gas can back where they belonged. Were they lying about him being committed?
A phone call to the hospital and Sheriff's Office gave her assurance he was behind locked doors at the mental facility and hour's drive away. Would he con doctors and nurses to get out again? He had committed himself a few weeks ago and was out in 3 days with supposed medication and an appointment to come in for further discussions with a Doctor.
My daughter is taking no more chances. The Judge has signed the protective order which will be served to him at the hospital with plenty of Staff around should he choose to go crazy again. No parents will be there to tell it otherwise. It will be in the hands of each teacher for each boy at school. It will be in the hands of after school providers. Already the Deputies have proven they can be to the place of trouble, and none is more than 5 minutes from a Sheriff's car and several very dedicated and trained officers.
They begged her to get everything leagal, because in Nash County we take protection and peacemaking of citizens very seriously! Thanks to all who have helped my daughter in recent days: good Lawyer / Deputies / Judge / and, I hope, good parents.
We were there for Christmas to insure safety and protection--he was there to haunt and threaten.
Monday afternoon he came stomping in and commanded we leave for a while so he could be with his sons. It was about 2:00 when we left with commands from him that we not return until 5:00. My wife called our daughter and she planned to be home about 5:00 as well.
We came home and started fixing supper. He showed up in a rage. My daughter called the Nash County Sheriff's Department dispatcher while standing outside. He raged at my wife inside the house so loud you could hear him outside. She was not moving an inch!
Shortly 3 Deputies raced up without lights or sirens and they yelled at him not to go inside the house. He went on in and "hit the ceiling" with raging inside. The officers stood close by. They were a calming effect for us--a source of rage for him. Shortly he was 2" from my face raging at me to the point the officers stepped forward with one snapping the Taser in addition to the others telling him to control it or he would be arrested. Everyone but him kept their cool.
He went back around into the den telling them to just shoot him and get it over! Then he hit the floor so hard it shook the house and began to beat his head, fists, and feet on the floor like a 5 year old. Finally they escorted him outside while we threw a few things together, turned off the stove on supper, and gave the boys a little to eat.
Within 30 minutes his car returned and raced across the yard leaving deep tracks. There he was raging from outside the car with its headlights shining on the front door. My daughter was calling her lawyer for advice. I was calling the Deputies back. They were there in about 5 minutes.
My daughter's lawyer was advising her to stay in the house lest she be accused of abandoning it and he could say he owned it. She was to the point I have never seen a woman--dazed and confused, trying to think, screaming at anyone trying to comfort or give advice. Finally she collapsed into my wife's arms and sobbed on her shoulders.
We left the house after the Deputy looked my daughter in the eye and said, "For your own safety, just leave and go somewhere safe. We will vouch that you left this house for your safety and did not abandon it."
My daughter heard that kind officer clearly. When none of us could convince her she should leave along with the boys and us, his words penetrated the confusion.
We exited with him sitting in his car as the (5 now) Deputies stood around his car. As the boys left he was saying, "Bye, boys, I love you." They did not know what to make of it all. They were all in tears and so were we. After going to the hospital parking lot where my wife works, we met again and decided the Bayview Cottage 1.5 hours away was a better place--and the dog could be there too. My daughter was driving so fast down the 4-lane with her children that I got in front and slowed down so we would not get a ticket. We were safer, but we were not yet to safety of the cottage. There, if he followed us, he would be trespassing if he set his foot on my property. We have an equally efficient Sheriff's Department where we live.
The next day our daughter had to go back to her work as Manager of a big store. It was "exchange and return items" time at the store.
Within a few hours our daughter was calling: he had baracaided himself in the house and his parents had had him taken by the Deputies to our local Emergency Room where they quickly transferred him to one of our State Mental Hospitals. The parents wanted our daughter to meet with them and decide what to do. According to them, he had "destroyed" the inside of the house, broken several bones in his hands, and was found sitting on the couch with a knife by his side and a 5 gallon gas can by his side.
My daughter decided, wisely, not to meet with them. She had been unable to do anything with him for 15 years. They had had him for 20+ years and created this monster who does not know how to love--starting with himself. It was their turn to deal with it alone and not blame her for what happened.
Again, my daughter was in emotional turmoil. She had a court time for a Judge to decide on a protective order and possible immediate divorce with no right for her husband except to pay in a timely fashion what was decided for alimony, child support, and what to do with a "destroyed" house.
At 3:00 my daughter, accompanied by 4 friends and Deputy, went to the house. Fortunately they did not find much more damage than had already been done to slammed, broken, and fist beaten doors. So, if he had broken fingers and was bleeding, as described by the parents, why was there no blood everywhere? There was no gas can or knife left behind. Was it another momma-made-up story or what? A later phone call from parents to my daughter got the confession from them that they had moved evidence and put the knife and gas can back where they belonged. Were they lying about him being committed?
A phone call to the hospital and Sheriff's Office gave her assurance he was behind locked doors at the mental facility and hour's drive away. Would he con doctors and nurses to get out again? He had committed himself a few weeks ago and was out in 3 days with supposed medication and an appointment to come in for further discussions with a Doctor.
My daughter is taking no more chances. The Judge has signed the protective order which will be served to him at the hospital with plenty of Staff around should he choose to go crazy again. No parents will be there to tell it otherwise. It will be in the hands of each teacher for each boy at school. It will be in the hands of after school providers. Already the Deputies have proven they can be to the place of trouble, and none is more than 5 minutes from a Sheriff's car and several very dedicated and trained officers.
They begged her to get everything leagal, because in Nash County we take protection and peacemaking of citizens very seriously! Thanks to all who have helped my daughter in recent days: good Lawyer / Deputies / Judge / and, I hope, good parents.
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