Sexual Confusion in a Confusing Age

This is one of the most cufusing times I have ever seen when it comes to sexuality!

I guess by not knowing GLB (Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual) and being from Atlanta, it shows I was raised a preacher's kid. In a few words above is an expose of how man wants to play with what God gave us and manipulate a body made female into one with broad shoulders and a telephone pole!

Such stuff is hardly the kind of conversation we have at the Bath Store!!

Years ago I was doing research in the Medical School Library at Emory. Having tired of the statistical research on psychosomatic illness, I picked up the "Anals of Plastic Surgery." In it was contained step-by-step procedures to alter the human body with case studies and pictures. Being 21, my research was immediately drawn to breast augmentation. A magic surgeon could take oversize ones and make them smaller. Through the magic of silicone, they could now take tiny ones and make them into basketballs. Most interesting!!!

They had to excise the nipple and place it into a nutrient bowl for a while. They would remove fatty tissue or borrow some from the butt and insert it pre-silicone. Put rulers and surgical markings on it so that when sewn back together with ever so fine micro-stitching the viewer could not detect it was man-made. HOWEVER, they had problems with that beautiful new boob having its nerves cut and never quite being as sensitive as it was before. There was also a problem that it could not now nourish a baby because the milk ducts had been cut as well! Complications could also occur where it could become hard or tissue did not heal properly and the downward cut became a valley instead of the rounded curves of the pre-surgical breast! God made it right, but man can't quite get the same result!

There was a segment on Androgyny as well. That is the situation where the baby has 3 chromosomes instead of 2. "It" is both male and female or female / male (so the ladies don't think I always put men first). This situation was a great mystery of which I had never heard. In fact, even medicine keeps it hush-hush. How do you tell a parent they have a he/she????

Did God mess things up in his creation of something odd? We must now rush to make a "gender assignment" because we can't have a male-female. According to the fundies, we are either male or female, but never both. Life must be just as the Bible describes and homosexuals are an "abomination." Sodom and Gomorra prove it! REALLY????

This single oddity of sexuality blows away a simple view that one is either male or female, but cannot make it both or "the opposite" of how I was born. "God made them male or female created He them!" In a way, it is the same as it saying: created in 6 days (24X6) hours / having 2 accounts of creation few want to admit / a cracker floating beneath the heavens and beneath it water off of which one will fall into nothingness.

If we grow up and face facts, we discover that "yam" translates "indefinite period of time" / earth revolves around the sun and is not the center the Bible depicts nor a cracker / the 2 accounts of creation are not identical = the Bible is a witness to "why things are as they are with the leap of faith that 'God did it!'"

The account of mankind eating fruit from the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is another important one. Satan tempted Eve with the statement that "God is just fooling you and wanting to keep his special knowledge to himself---if you just eat, you will know what God knows!"

REALLY?????

When micro-biology and endocrinology are added to the picture, we discover that all humans have both estrogen and testosterone balancing one another in the system. All humans have both. Further, embryology show us step-by-step how the sperm and egg unite in a single cell. Depending on the X (male) and Y (female) chromosome combination (XX / YY / XY / YX) that chemical combination directs that cell to form a being where the genitals either become an indention for the female or an extrusion for a male. The same tissue with forms testicles producing sperm---form ovaries producing eggs. At one stage of fetus development there is a tail and gills which give us an evolutionary clue as to our origins--none of these mentioned in the Bible!

So here we are arguing about sexuality and whether homos are going to hell when we hardly understand God's creative process. What we know for sure is that religious people seldom can handle complexity nor can they admit God does things we don't understand. We would rather destroy a queer or gender-assign a new baby which is androgynous by the hand of the Creator. We have a hard time with things not simple as we think the Bible is.

Now, in Baptistland, NC, we have decided that a church ministering to homosexuals is not worthy of having its money accepted. In GA a female-pastored church must be excluded from fellowship because BF&M 2000 (Baptist Faith and Message = a creedal statement) states women must be submissive to men and are not worthy of ordination. Other denominations do it different, but the majority rules among Baptists---now taken over by the Fundamentalist Mindset. Something in this reminds me of "Planet of the Apes."

In current politics, the same seems to be the case = "Don't ask / don't tell." It is the next reason for Democrats to hate Republicans. It is just another diversion from the fact that non-enforcement of financial policies has led us to economic ruin. We are spending $10 for every $1 taken in with taxes. Every citizen has the right to plenty of food / work as they please / live in a fancy house with 2 cars / 2-5 TV's / go on exotic vacations paid by a credit card charging 18-23% interest / having the most exotic military destruction toys costing billions just to produce in Texas / etc.

Diversions are good. They keep us fighting which translates to billions spent on election campaigns producing a media-sensitive candidate who never tells us anything about his real position of taxation / honesty / service to his electorate / producing more laws so lawyers can fight and the judicial system can set OJ (and others like him) free to kill again!

This one thing I can safely conclude: We love being stupid / prejudiced / simple so we can bask in the sun on a desert isle and sip our beers in comfort without having to work.

Sound anything like the Garden of Eden from which we were cast for eating of the fruit of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil???

Christmas--a tough time to be a closet gay

Probably Christmas is one of the most difficult times of the year when most seek family times, if that family member happens to be Gay. It is made even more difficult in the sunny South where we still pretend such does not exist. Churches and preachers rage, but one of the requirements of being a good Southern town is to have a few gays around!! Just read William Faulkner, if you doubt me. Quentin Compson, III, is the classic hidden gay (The Sound and the Fury).

They are publicly derided. Movies like "Midnight in The Garden of Good and Evil," a reality based Savannah story, tell it like it is. The prominent wealthy businessman who mixes with the high and mighty has a secret! My own Senior Minister ended up at Charleston in similar circumstances. Rocky Mount, NC, where I work is the same story. We even had a former Director of Mission picked up at the riverside park--cops say he was a part / he claims it was a mistake. Who really knows anything other than we have Preachers and churches yelling---while some are raging to cover up their inner demons!

Can you imagine a greater Hell on earth than to have to pretend something you are not because family is so arrogant and judgmental you dare not be honest with them? As more and more children are raised by mother because daddy refused to do his part of parenting, we will have more and more. Every boy needs a role model. It is best if it is dad. However, good relatives can help, and should, if daddy is not doing the job.

Those who have read about my daughter and boys know I will have to now be a "father figure." It is no problem for me because I had a father who was the best. I knew from day 1 he loved me. My earliest childhood memories are of him coming in, smelling of hospital, to kiss me and make sure I was ready for sleep. He was tired. He could have gone to his home office, but, instead, he came to my little bed to kiss me on the cheek. My saddest day so far in this life was when he went to "higher ground."

He had liver cancer which had come from a missed colon cancer. Despite him complaining for months of mid-section pain, it was attributed to gall stones. By the time they did exploratory surgery, it was too late and there is nothing yet to stop liver cancer. Instead of taking treatments that would make life hell, daddy wisely decided to love his family, enjoy what he had left, and "go gently into the night." He did!! He had only about 2 weeks of serious discomfort, which is a miracle in itself. He had been faithful to his family and God in his ministry and God took royal care of him in a, sometimes, awful and painful kind of cancer. Amazingly, it was at Easter!

I am who I am as a man partly because I knew a man's man in my father. I was born with normal brain and glands which developed to maturity in a normal fashion. I went from the "girl-haters" club to the stupid adolescent club drooling over what miracle happened to the girls between grade 6 and grade 7. I was fortunate. Many young males are not, especially in the last 30 years .

Please read below an article I was given permission to print from one of the finest sex educators in Canada, Sue Johanson (2005) these days:

Homosexuality: Did you know that most people, male and female, have some homosexual (same sex) fantasies?


This is common and does not indicate you are homosexual. It is a fantasy, safe and harmless. Most females simply accept their fantasies, but males, who may be homophobic, react with fear or get into "gay bashing" to prove they are "hetero". Females are generally more comfortable with homosexuality.

Homosexuality just "is".

Being homosexual is NOT a choice. Guys, think back - at what stage of your life did you consciously decide, "Well I think I will like girls?" You didn't. You just knew, you got horny just thinking about the opposite sex - it was not a choice, you just knew. There is NO cure for homosexuality because it is not a disease and most homosexuals do not want to be "cured". They simply want what everybody else wants, the THREE BIG "A's" - Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation.

Current research indicates that people are born homosexual. Parents may deny it, try to control kids behavior, their choice of toys or friends. Kids at about age 7 know they are different; by age 10, they are aware that they fantasize about people of the same sex; by age 14, although most are not ready to "come out of the closet", they are aware that they are homosexual. Gay males like females as "best friends" and straight females really enjoy socializing with gay males. This does not go over well with straight Macho males.


Lesbians may identify as homosexual at a young age, but many, many more get into heterosexual relationships, maybe have kids, and then accept that they are lesbian at a later age.

Here's some typical MYTHS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY:
Gay males are promiscuous.
Gay males have a higher than normal sex drive. HIV/AIDS is a Gay disease.
Gay males assault little boys.
If a male has a same sex experience, he must be Gay.

Lesbians just have not found the right man.
Lesbians are "butch".
No, some are very feminine and call themselves "lipstick dykes".
Females who socialize with Gay males are "Fag Hags".

Most religions regard homosexuality as a sin. Here's a great book I recommend for anyone having trouble dealing with homosexuality - "IS IT A CHOICE?" by Eric Marcus. You can check our book list on this site for many other books dealing with the topic.

Randy, who granted permission for my use of this article further says this, " Frankly, it's a pretty scant article and you could find far better if you
looked around. Try the PFLAG site."

Should anyone have a child come home this year and say, "I need to talk about something serious with you." I encourage you as a parent to listen and love as you never have before. It is the most important gift, the gift of acceptance, that you can give this year!

God bless you all as I go to be with my wife, daughter, and grandsons this afternoon for a Christmas without abuse lurking in the corner of the room!

How about the Homosexuality Issue?

http://www.baptiststandard.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=9802&Itemid=9

The above link will get you to the State Baptist paper of Texas--The Baptist Standard.

Their editor, Marv Knox, had more guts than most anyone else to bring the debate in "Southern Baptist homophobia land" to the forefront.

Rather than do a long blog on this issue, I invite you to read the article and commentary. About half way through those comments, I stepped in to say what does not need repeating here.

I welcome your comments on this very important issues here since the commentary is now closed at the Baptist Standard.

I simply applaude Marv Knox for his courage and not saying the things expected to be said if one is to remain editor of any state baptist publication these days.