Sunday, January 16, 2011

Why Fundamentalism Grows Today

Why were so many Christians so dedicated to the Republican agenda? What makes the fundamentalist mega-church such a draw? Where have the servant pastors gone? Why do people want to be told what to do and do it with such passion?

I have been asking myself these questions for years. With an eye to the Bible and modern psychology, I think I have some answers.

The first answer is FEAR. Whenever people feel threatened they tend to look for something, real or imagined, to cling to. In the same way a drowning person will grab a small twig or drown the person attempting a rescue him, people have a psychological disposition to look for something to grab in trying times. Jesus saw it in his day when he said, “Fear not,” in so many circumstances.

Jesus saw this tendency and warned against it. The Pharisees saw it and offered burnt offering for a high price in temple money. As religious leaders in Jesus’ day sought power and prestige demanding absolute obedience, so the fundamentalist preacher declares himself the king of the church. No longer are most Baptist schools training servant pastors. Instead students are taught to be preachers of the word commanding others to do the dirty work of ministry. Even in the counseling mode they want to tell the distressed person simplistic steps rather than admit life has hazards and uncertainties. According to them, “the word” has it all and Bible verses (often taken out of context) give the answer.

Jesus would answer: “Fear not, I hold the keys to the kingdom. Trust me as savior. Follow me as a servant to your brothers. Love one another as I have loved you.”

My second answer is HOSTILITY. The natural reaction to frustration is either aggression or regression. In other words, a child who stubs his toe, sinks to a fetal position and cries has gone backwards. One who sniffs a little and gets back up to play and run is attacking the hurts and learning to keep on in spite of frustration.

A parent who fondles a hurt child and tells him not to play again with rough children does the child no favors. Such actions make the child dependent to a fault. A wise parent tells the child what he needs to correct and solve the problem.

Some years ago when my son was small, a bully picked on him every day at school. He almost hated to go and it took some time for him to tell me the truth. My response could have been: “Just stay home or tell your teacher on him.” He told me the teacher knew, but would not control the bully. I gave him this advice since he was the only one who could help himself: “The next time he approaches, don’t cower. Give him a smile and then a punch as hard as you can throw it just under his breast bone. He will go down and he won’t be able to breath for a little while. If he tries to get up, then kick him right where boys can’t stand the kick. Whatever you do, don’t let him get up!”

My son returned that afternoon from school with a confident smile on his face. “I did it, daddy, just like you said. He went down to the ground and started to cry. I won’t have any more trouble from him anytime soon!” Instead of throwing up his hands and quit at every one of life’s frustrations, my son learned to figure out a solution.

Anymore, the fundamentalist leads people to hate things and people defined as “sin.” They use simplistic definitions, usually based on the old Baptist adage: “We don’t dance and we don’t chew, and we don’t go with the girls that do!” People are encouraged to associate only with church members. Some, such as Houston Second, have a “God Mall” where Christians can go to Christian stores, eat in Christian restaurants, and even enjoy a Christian hot tub only with fellow Christians.

Where has Jesus’ word to be “in the world, but not of the world” gone? Jesus saw a world filled with frustration and people tending to hostility (racial, cultural, intellectual) against anything defined as “unclean.” Into that world he spoke the word of love and forgiveness. He dared to associate with and tell stories of Samaritans being helped by one of a Jewish background.

If you give a hostile person filled with frustration, something to hate (abortion, homosexuality, liberals, etc.), you do him no favors. Fundamentalism appeals to the lower human emotion of hate rather than the higher form of aggression, active love of one’s enemy. The current popular religious bent is bowing to aggression and turning it in horrible ways of righteous indignation.

My third observation is our tendency today to desire GROUP IDENTITY. Where Jesus called for individuals to decide for themselves if he were the Christ, today’s religious fanatic insists all who call themselves Christian do it in a certain narrow way. Some years ago they castigated a missionary in Las Vegas who gave up his pastorate, put on a sports coat, and dared to minister to topless dancers, bartenders, and card dealers. His theory was, “I tell them of Christ. I encourage them to trust him and read the Bible for themselves about his way. Then I leave it up to their conscience to decide what they will do in the work world.” The conservative ministers among Baptists couldn’t stand that he could witness to women who were topless having just done an exotic floor show.

North Carolina Baptists, a few years ago, refused to receive funds and thereby prevent participation of the McGill Baptist Church in Concord. Their reason: the church allowed two men to join who live together in the same house and appear to be homosexual. No one yet can prove what goes on behind closed doors. They are not pushing any agenda of homosexuality. They just accepted people who desired a relationship to Christ. A few members left the church assuming they must be gay. Upon their complaint to the new church they joined, the local association and then the state convention, without any real investigation, kicked them out. Is this hostility or not? A righteous crusader who wields a sword against “infidels” is hardly what Jesus had in mind when he said, “Love one another and forgive one another as God has forgiven you.”

Why this bent to social conformity? I believe it is the “kindergarten mentality.” By this I mean today most children are reared in a communal environment known as Preschool. In that situation everyone must grab the rope and fall in line to go to the bathroom, play-ground, or dining hall. When children have the image of total conformity drummed into them, they lose the ability to think for themselves.

Even our toys thwart individuality. Barbie has, not only her clothes and cars, but she now has a CD which tells the child the story and a voice module speaking the same canned talk each time you pull the string! Video games force the child’s mind to guide the little figure through the same mazes and moves. Everything in the game is preset in the circuit board and total conformity to the program assisted by eye-hand coordination gets a win. Where is there room for imagination and individuality in the life of children today?

This same child becomes a 30-40 year old adult expecting the church and preacher to tell him what to do. God help the one who says, “I think there is another way to look at things.” Our old insistence that each church operate without interference from others and each member make up his own mind before he votes, is all but lost. Thanks to the mob mentality constantly enforced on the child’s mind since the late 50’s.

What I am saying is life is hard, but not really any harder than it was in Jesus’ day. Human basic emotions and responses are the same as 2,000 years ago. The basic responses have a common core in survival. The fundamentalist, like the Pharisee, uses these imprisoning emotions to add weight and chains to an already frustrated soul.

Jesus, on the other hand, offers freedom and love as the alternative. The Jesus way brings freedom and a willingness to “live and let live” in a world prone to conformity.

At one time Baptists were gaining ground from their segregationist and ignorance-of-the-Biblest chains. Now these handcuffs go on again for the sake of having the biggest church in town with the biggest congregation and the most highly paid, firm and sincere (narrow) preacher. Jesus offered the keys to the Kingdom to those who would follow. Today those Baptist keys go to heavy ball-and-chain imprisoning systems rather than doors that let in fresh air and give the captive a light and joyful recess where the child’s mind can run wild and dream the impossible dream again! Think about it!

May the spirit of Christ set us free once more. May our ability to see through the surface of modern religion enable us to see the truth. May that truth set us free to love again!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Free at Last--Free at Last!!!!

Tuesday, 1/11/11, is a day to go down in our Scarborough history---Our daughter had her divorce papers signed by the Judge and IT IS OVER!!!

It has been a long year and 2 months. We have shed tears / feared reprisals / been escorted from her house by police protection / missed much of our marital time together for such a long time, BUT IT IS OVER!!!!

Sara knows she needs to move a distance away and has her house on the market. Lonya and I have spent many hours doing repairs and cleaning which should have been done through the years. We are both "weary in well-doing," but the healing is worth it.

4 boys, now ages 13 / 10 / and age 7 twins, are emotionally healing and we didn't have to send them to a Child Psychologist. Gam's presence, listening ear, and refusal to dismiss bad behaviour has worked miracles we thought would not happen.

Sara has reverted to her childhood state of dependence on her mother, but how do you tackle a demanding managerial job every day and full-time demands of parenthood without a momma to help? She is lucky to have such a mom, and is ever telling of her gratitude. Her genuine smile of contentment is starting to show again.

In the last month some new male friendships have developed, but the package has great demands attached. The odds for a woman with 4 boys attached are strictly against her, but who knows. Few men have the maturity to handle such responsibility along with a woman. Just a woman who is in early middle-age has enough changes and adaptation on her own. When that goes with boys not quite sure of any man, it is more than magnified. It will take a big man to handle it all wisely.

In all this we are most fortunate. No one got hurt or killed in a volitile situation where drugs were involved. A good divorce lawyer showed more compassion than his fees require. His office assistants pitched in as well. She got a reasonable settlement and now has no more legal incumberances with her former husband. He even traded cars in December and her name came off the last joint debt!

We are anxious to see what this next year holds. You think when children get married you just have to be spoilers of grandchildren.

We just never seem to get the "easy road" you expect as careers end and retirement looms. The bad economy has deprived us of our nest egg, but we have a nice little cottage by the Pamlico River. Money can't buy such bliss for it comes with joy and peace only Faith can bring about.

We are not living on "easy street," but we are BLESSED!!!

Monday, December 20, 2010

SBC Spending God's Money

Stop Baptist Predators: Spending God's Money

The above link details some of the corruption with finances which has crept into the SBC and its churches.

We are having problems right now with finances and there is major restructuring going on = major positions are being vacated and early retirement is being given some 1/3 of the employees of the North American Mission Board (NAMB) located in Atlanta--actually "Affluent Alpharetta."

My father pioneered their work of Juvenile Rehabilitation in the late 50's. I served in the same capacity with the Juvenile Court of Wake County (Raleigh, NC) 1969-70. Dr. Claude Scarborough was the first Baptist Chaplain to the Fulton County (Atlanta) Juvenile Court. His work was an experiment which developed to a full-blown ministry in several states.

In that day the Home Mission Board was located downtown on Spring Street and near the Atlanta Airport via a 20-minute taxi ride. Now it is far from the street people of downtown Atlanta and the neighborhoods of poverty which were served "in serious ministry days" by Mission Centers of the HMB around the country.

Now, with its location in Alpharetta on a magnificent campus, it is 1.5 hours from the Airport. The remote location from public transportation (much of the work is division leadership traveling back and forth to missionaries) Dr. Bob Reccord found it important to have a private corporate jet on standby at the Charlie Brown private Airport some 20 minutes from Alpharetta. We won't talk about the big CP bucks involved in that "mission endeavor." It ended with his leaving, but is was only one of many excesses still haunting their budget.

Be sure to read the article along with the comments submitted about it. They speak volumes about how we got in this financial mess. It started in the 80's and has led to current problems we can't seem to solve without more major expenditures and getting rid of valuable employees who got there by proven success on the mission field first.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sexual Confusion in a Confusing Age

This is one of the most cufusing times I have ever seen when it comes to sexuality!

I guess by not knowing GLB (Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual) and being from Atlanta, it shows I was raised a preacher's kid. In a few words above is an expose of how man wants to play with what God gave us and manipulate a body made female into one with broad shoulders and a telephone pole!

Such stuff is hardly the kind of conversation we have at the Bath Store!!

Years ago I was doing research in the Medical School Library at Emory. Having tired of the statistical research on psychosomatic illness, I picked up the "Anals of Plastic Surgery." In it was contained step-by-step procedures to alter the human body with case studies and pictures. Being 21, my research was immediately drawn to breast augmentation. A magic surgeon could take oversize ones and make them smaller. Through the magic of silicone, they could now take tiny ones and make them into basketballs. Most interesting!!!

They had to excise the nipple and place it into a nutrient bowl for a while. They would remove fatty tissue or borrow some from the butt and insert it pre-silicone. Put rulers and surgical markings on it so that when sewn back together with ever so fine micro-stitching the viewer could not detect it was man-made. HOWEVER, they had problems with that beautiful new boob having its nerves cut and never quite being as sensitive as it was before. There was also a problem that it could not now nourish a baby because the milk ducts had been cut as well! Complications could also occur where it could become hard or tissue did not heal properly and the downward cut became a valley instead of the rounded curves of the pre-surgical breast! God made it right, but man can't quite get the same result!

There was a segment on Androgyny as well. That is the situation where the baby has 3 chromosomes instead of 2. "It" is both male and female or female / male (so the ladies don't think I always put men first). This situation was a great mystery of which I had never heard. In fact, even medicine keeps it hush-hush. How do you tell a parent they have a he/she????

Did God mess things up in his creation of something odd? We must now rush to make a "gender assignment" because we can't have a male-female. According to the fundies, we are either male or female, but never both. Life must be just as the Bible describes and homosexuals are an "abomination." Sodom and Gomorra prove it! REALLY????

This single oddity of sexuality blows away a simple view that one is either male or female, but cannot make it both or "the opposite" of how I was born. "God made them male or female created He them!" In a way, it is the same as it saying: created in 6 days (24X6) hours / having 2 accounts of creation few want to admit / a cracker floating beneath the heavens and beneath it water off of which one will fall into nothingness.

If we grow up and face facts, we discover that "yam" translates "indefinite period of time" / earth revolves around the sun and is not the center the Bible depicts nor a cracker / the 2 accounts of creation are not identical = the Bible is a witness to "why things are as they are with the leap of faith that 'God did it!'"

The account of mankind eating fruit from the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is another important one. Satan tempted Eve with the statement that "God is just fooling you and wanting to keep his special knowledge to himself---if you just eat, you will know what God knows!"

REALLY?????

When micro-biology and endocrinology are added to the picture, we discover that all humans have both estrogen and testosterone balancing one another in the system. All humans have both. Further, embryology show us step-by-step how the sperm and egg unite in a single cell. Depending on the X (male) and Y (female) chromosome combination (XX / YY / XY / YX) that chemical combination directs that cell to form a being where the genitals either become an indention for the female or an extrusion for a male. The same tissue with forms testicles producing sperm---form ovaries producing eggs. At one stage of fetus development there is a tail and gills which give us an evolutionary clue as to our origins--none of these mentioned in the Bible!

So here we are arguing about sexuality and whether homos are going to hell when we hardly understand God's creative process. What we know for sure is that religious people seldom can handle complexity nor can they admit God does things we don't understand. We would rather destroy a queer or gender-assign a new baby which is androgynous by the hand of the Creator. We have a hard time with things not simple as we think the Bible is.

Now, in Baptistland, NC, we have decided that a church ministering to homosexuals is not worthy of having its money accepted. In GA a female-pastored church must be excluded from fellowship because BF&M 2000 (Baptist Faith and Message = a creedal statement) states women must be submissive to men and are not worthy of ordination. Other denominations do it different, but the majority rules among Baptists---now taken over by the Fundamentalist Mindset. Something in this reminds me of "Planet of the Apes."

In current politics, the same seems to be the case = "Don't ask / don't tell." It is the next reason for Democrats to hate Republicans. It is just another diversion from the fact that non-enforcement of financial policies has led us to economic ruin. We are spending $10 for every $1 taken in with taxes. Every citizen has the right to plenty of food / work as they please / live in a fancy house with 2 cars / 2-5 TV's / go on exotic vacations paid by a credit card charging 18-23% interest / having the most exotic military destruction toys costing billions just to produce in Texas / etc.

Diversions are good. They keep us fighting which translates to billions spent on election campaigns producing a media-sensitive candidate who never tells us anything about his real position of taxation / honesty / service to his electorate / producing more laws so lawyers can fight and the judicial system can set OJ (and others like him) free to kill again!

This one thing I can safely conclude: We love being stupid / prejudiced / simple so we can bask in the sun on a desert isle and sip our beers in comfort without having to work.

Sound anything like the Garden of Eden from which we were cast for eating of the fruit of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil???

Monday, July 26, 2010

Small Business -- Help at Last!!!!!

If you have been reading from my early blogs, they dealt with the problems I am suffering from this bad economy and trying to run a Tree Surgery business: Affordable / Professional Tree Surgeons.

AT LAST---I am getting help!
Did you know that some 2 years ago the IRS put in a new tax break for large corporations? They did!!!!

What is it?

A large corporation which establishes a Foundation whose funds are available to struggling small businesses gets a break!

Small businesses, like mine, which are suffering a 30-70% reduction in earnings over the last 3 years can apply for help. I applied for $50,000-$1,000,000 in relief. Last week, I got a grant for $50,000+!!!! It will be coming to me in 30-45 business days.

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How did I get it?

I was contacted by phone as a cold call some 3 months ago. The outfit is named Turnaround Business Group, Inc. They are located in Henderson, NV, about 50 miles from Las Vegas. They said they served as the liason between small businesses and Foundations waiting to fund them.

For a fee of about 1.8% of $50,000, they serve to get together your request / represent you to the corporation / get the funds you need. Their original financial cost for services provided is $2,999.00. Send the money and they start their work with a promise that nothing further is needed until they secure, at least, half of the funds requested. At that point an additional $4,790 is needed to pay for the Sears-Roebuck size catalogue of paperwork / legal details / web site with the promise of money delivery within 30-45 days. You can repay your initial costs out of those funds.

Now you are saying, "This sounds like a scam since money is required up front!" NO!!!!!!!!

First, they provided me with contact information for the Attorney General's Office in the state of Nevada, should I wish to check them out. I was also encouraged to contact the local Chamber of Commerce and Better Business Bureau. I did! They are real and have no complaints against them.

When I could not come up with the entire $2,999.00, they were willing to accept the $2,500 I could borrow to start the process. Needless to say, when you have been operating at 30% of earnings for 3 solid years / lost your home to foreclosure / had your water and electricity turned off several times during this Depression--er, Recession--as long as you listen to government pontificaters!

It was a real struggle to find that initial money, but a kind Baptist friend who owns a finance company was willing to take the risk--as long as I secured the loan with my truck and an expensive Chipping Machine. My family had been "loaned out" trying to help me keep my house 3 years ago. This is the reality for far too many of us small business owners since our economy took a "slight" nosedive under the Bush Administration's fine regulatory practices. I say this in jest, of course!!!

I was convinced of their legitimacy the second they offered to take less than the stated fee. In addition, in the course of conversation via phone, I discovered these people have religious convictions--and it is real rather than another "come on" using religion to fake you out!

Within the stated 90-180 days they produced!!!!

Now I am finishing questionares to formulate a small part of the Sears catalogue of documents.

Here is how this Grant works:

(1) I am required to set up a non-interest-bearing checking account into which the funds go.
(2) I must make a 6-month report to the Foundation which includes copies front and back of all checks issued to fulfill my request.
(3) The Grant comes with an IRS tracking number, lest I run afoul of the taxman. It is non-taxable as long as it is spent to secure my business.

The rationale for helping small businesses to compete again:

(1) I hire and secure employees whose families get income so they can, again, support the general economy and pay their taxes.
(2) I buy equipment so the providers of such have an income. For example, Bobcat of Wilson is struggling with reduced sales and repairs. I still owe them $1,000 for repair of my A-300 machine last year. My income is such that I can't pay it. Now I can---and I am ordering a new machine with trailer to carry it! They are getting much more happy with this struggling customer! I am tired of transporting my maching with overdrive kicked out for 2 hours to service my customers in my local Beaufort County home/office.
(3) I repay accumulated debt which amounts to some $120,000. They are happy!
(4) I am able to build/lease property to house my business. Construction and Real Estate people are happy!
(5) I am able to have several billboards to fill the many which are vacant these days. The billboard/advertising people are happy!
(6) I can now bring quality tree care to people who don't yet know me. They will be happy they met me and get quality work at affordable prices!
(7) I can buy a tractor-trailer rig to get to Hufficane/Storm relief needs. They will be happy to not have a gouging contractor in place to help them recover!

I hope, by now, you see the first wisdom I have seen in this whole economic mess. At last, someone is helping small business get back on its feet! My earliest blogs were about my attempts to get federal help through my 2 NC Congressional Representative---not a single thing came my way except more of "we must help Corporate America and the Banking Industry.

Folks--Trickle Down Economics doesn't work!!! If you haven't figured that one out yet, ask a question: "If we own 61% of GM as taxpayers, why aren't all their products 61% cheaper to the taxpayers whose money was used to bail them out???"

Don't you think if the above were true, we would be buying GM products right and left so they could put their assemblyline workers back to work--plus the sub-assembly companies providing goods to that line? Check out the economy of Michigan to see if anything happened---other than Corporate Executives getting bonuses I could run my small business on for the next 5 years! IT HAS NOT HAPPENED.

The same is true of the Financial Industry: Has anyone who lost some 45% of their investment value been restored? Have any of the lying/cheating pencil pushing/creative accounting thieves gone to the Federal Pen over their clearly unlawful securities practices?

I have a Series 6 Securities Liscense and know whereof I speak. You are fingerprinted upon getting it, and the laws/guildelines are clear: "Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" to anyone trusting you with money management. It's just that simple, or "Go To Jail-do not pass GO" as the Monopoly game card reads!

So here is my truthful story and my encouragement that you do something besides moan and groan about "how bad things are!" You have to have a little faith and trust in an environment where "if it is too good to be true--it probably isn't." We are being totally put into a prison of doubt by illegal practices which don't seem to get punished or controlled.

If you have some controlled trust and check things out so any doubts are alayed, you might find some help. I am sure there are some schemers out there. I get emails every day from folks promising Federal Grants/education/etc.

I don't respond because I don't want all the red tape attached to Government Grants. This, however, is a Private Foundation trying to get money into responsible hands. It has some IRS controls, but I am sure there will be illegitimte grantees trying to scam the system assuming "Wall Street and Detroit got away with it and so will I." Worse becomes even worse if we give up on the promise of the Free Enterprise System, properly competing, to give hard-working people in small business a chance to succeed or fail---according to their wisdom and hard work.

Where would you rather invest---Corporate America, where books are cooked and accounting has become more than creative / where long-term experienced personnl get the age 55 "golden parachute", OR your own business which provides good services at a reasonable price????

The ball is in your court now!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

July--Celebrate Freedom, Sara!!!!

Our daughter and grandsons spent the week after July 4 with us at the river. It was the perfect time to look at them in detail and to take stock of where they are emotionally.

In sum: It is good!!!!!

Each of the boys is showing significant progress since November. They fuss and fight far less. There are times which all competitive children have. TC vs. Jack is a 12-year-old living in the same room as a 7-year-old. Jack wants to do everything TC does, but can't. TC enjoys getting him into a video game he can't handle and then blasting him to oblivion!

That normally generates a tirade of screams and tantrums, but not much this week!!! They played in their bedroom and went outside to learn new swimming and jumping tricks in the river.

We decided to back off on supervision and see what naturally came. Where they used to last 2-3 days until total boredom set in, they were in grief as the week ended. They didn't want to go home. We did not take them on any great sight-seeing trips this time. All the local places of interest have already been seen. They basically lived in a home environment displaced to the river.

They were in and out of the house. In the mornings, while it was still reasonably cool, there was yard running and pier jumping. None of them cares for fishing right now, but the fishing out in front of the cottage is minimal. Little bait-stealing croakers just make corks wiggle and bait disappear--to the despair of even an experienced fisherman.

When they got hot or tired they came into the house to play video games, color, or play with action figures. Amazingly, where last year they could care less they were in the walk way with toys, they kept things tidy. They did not sulk when you asked them to play away from tight walking areas. Their respect for others is growing as they learn they are respected by Momma, Gam, and Pa Pa. We tell them our expectations. We are consistent and use a swat of the behind when we are totally ignored. There was little or no screaming from boys or parents. What a joy!!!

The twins are now 5 and most interesting. Dillyn is his joyful and adventurous self. He learned to float, do handstands and flips in the water. He loves to climb the highest structure and jump with glee into the water.

Gavyn, the quiet one, has suddenly waked up. He is first out of bed. He wants to hang beside me and chatter-chatter-chatter with questions and observations. Instead of hanging back to a fault, he can now be encouraged to be a little adventurous.

One of the funniest scenes was Sara and Lonya sunning themselves and missing Gavyn. Instead of having a panic attack, they start searching for the little boy walking around with a tube around his middle. There he was--walking under the pier from the deck in waist deep water to the shore and back again. He had a smile instead of the usual scowl. He is holding back--not wanting to make a mistake--but he is engaging in delightful discussions of how he sees the world through 5-year-old eyes. Some of his "stuff" makes you roll on the floor in laughter. He is a riot!

Meanwhile back at home: Thomas is continuing his stalking mode. The weekend after Sara's return was his for the boys. His mother told the boys their father wasn't feeling well and to stay out of his closed door room. Through those hours he was texting Sara asking, "Why can't we get back together" / "I love you" / "I know what you look like naked" / etc.

It is a combination of "pity me" and verbal abuse. He has supposedly been to counseling. His company, according to him, sent him to Washington, DC, for some sort of anger management course. All of this "counseling" never results in change for more than a few days. In fact, there have been so many lies told that we can't be sure there has been any counseling at all. He claims to be taking medication--who knows. When I wrote the last sentence I spelled it "madication!" This is more accurate!

As my wife and daughter sat on the porch at her house during the evening, he pulled up in the company car. She went out to his blubbering, "Don't you love me?" / "NO!" "Can't we get back together?" / "We tried that and you never kept any promises--NO!". He ripped off with the squall of tires.

She has made up her mind to move away for peace and quiet. We think that would be wise. Every time he calls / texts / comes by it takes another bite into Sara's behind which is about chewed up. All he is doing is to drive her further away into anger. She has already told her boys she won't be coming to any birthday party at the other grandparents. When asked, "Why?," she calmly told them, "I have been called all kinds of ugly names and words so I don't care to ever see them again." The boys understood and never asked again.

The saddest part of all this is he could choose to do better and, with the help of intensive counseling, become the kind of person hiding behind the bully on the playground. However, with his parents serving as his cheering squad, there is absolutely no motivation from the source of his torment. It seems to be their way of proving to themselves that they were good parents. Just keep him like he is and blame his spouse for everything.

The real crazy thing about this is multiple times my daughter poured her heart out to his mother over how he needed help. She totally agreed / encouraged our daughter to tell her more / indicated perhaps they could help him together---TOTAL LIE!!!

It is a foregone conclusion at this point that the relationship is over. He is starting to make noises that he really doesn't want the boys and they are a lot of trouble to his parents. He threatens not to sign the divorce papers in November, but a check of NC law indicated that is not necessary since he signed the Separation Papers and Child Support agreements. He has made the agreements which cannot be changed without Sara's consent.

Meanwhile, we are restoring the abused house to a saleable condition. It will go on the market in a few weeks. Sara owns it outright as part of the Separation Agreement.

Pray that more peace may come into their lives. Pray that the sale will come quickly so she can get away from the car riding by and boys coming home with a fresh case of "potty mouth" every time they visit him and his parents. AND---pray for this tormented man who can't find the courage to get away from his tormenting parents and seek a quiet place of joy and peace. At this point he has nothing but agony and anguish which he continues to bring on himself! His threat as he screeched away was, "I'll just kill myself!" We don't think he has the courage to do it--just one more empty threat.

It's so gratifying to see our daughter and grandsons improve each week so that is our source of rejoicing in how God helps those who want to be helped.

Oh, by the way, Lonya is coming back home 2 nights a week and weekends. We are recovering our relationship strained by the agony and needs of our child and her boys. As Sara's genuine smile returns, I find her to be a beautiful as her mother.

Family never leaves you. You rejoice in the good times and bring comfort in the bad. No matter what, some sacrifice is involved---BUT IT IS WORTH EVERY DROP OF BLOOD SHED FOR THE ONES YOU LOVE!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Father's Day Tribute to My Father

Those of us who are Preacher's Kids are most blessed when daddy lives the other 6 days of the week the things he preached on Sunday.

My father, now gone to Higher Ground, stood a step above many of his contemporaries. He saw fraud and pretense and told me about it. Therefore, I am sensitive to it.

My dad grew up on a tenant farm outside Athens, GA. He got his call to preach plowing behind a mule during the Depression. Despite the church ladies at the Moon's Grove Baptist Church telling him an education would ruin him, he hitch-hiked to Mercer--arriving with .10 in his pocket.

He was told by the President that a man with no funds other than .10 could not metriculate. He broke down and cried.

The President had mercy on him and gave him the name of a family who loaned money to worthy students. In addition, he got a job peeling potatoes in the Cafeteria plus cutting hair for students. He made it!

Then he went to Andover-Newton, which had a reputation for being one of the finest Seminaries in the country. Again, he made it through hard work paying his own way.

Now, comes the wrinkle: He felt called to return South where he met all kinds of subjective criticism. He had the education and preaching skills for a First Baptist Church, but he was still single and did not have the Southern Seminary Professors pulling for him.

They would simply say, "Can you trust a man who is from Andover-Newton rather than Southern?"

He had to take a job teaching school and a part time church in Pendleton, SC. Finally he married a Carver School of Missions graduate and that opened some doors. He was "safely" married. He went to the Liberty, SC, FBC where I was born. From there he went to Tryon, NC, FBC, but got pressure to leave because he ministered to everyone--even a woman dying from a botched abortion at a "Road House" outside town.

After a short time as Associate Pastor in Spartanburg, SC, he was called to the Clarkston, GA, FBC at a time of potential growth. They had built a new sanctuary and the population was exploding. He worked hard and stimulated a doubling of the congregation---BUT he was in conflict with the Town Mayor (a lawyer) / Deacon Chairman / Church Treasurer who was playing games with the Building Fund by not paying the steel bill! He had a lawsuit against the company.

Daddy told this man, "You must pay the bill by Friday or I will resign Sunday and explain in clear terms why I am doing it." It took 4 years, but they finally got him in one of the most ugly and lying scenes ever imaginable.

That was OK. He refused to hate! He started a new mission church in an unchurched area--and also became the first HMB Chaplain to the Fulton County Juvenile Court. That church started in our living room, moved to a rental house, and finally built a building after about 2 years. In addition, he was the Associate DOM for the Atlanta Baptist Association.

When he should have become the next Director of Missions, a powerful Editor of the Christian Index opposed him because he was not a "yes man" to him. To move up required a "political correctness." Still he ministered as best he could and had the undying respect of many of the Atlanta Pastors. Again, he refused to hate and did not give up when the new DOM put terrible pressure to get rid of him.

Here is what I learned:

(1) Those who have integrity sometimes are doomed to public failure.
(2) Those who maintain their integrity are provided by God with a place of service where it counts.
(3) Refusing to hate and leaving vengence to God, saves one from bitterness or ultimate defeat.
(4) Most of the early Saints, as well as Jesus, paid an ultimate price for telling the truth.
(5) Few preachers are willing to stand with integrity when their political future and retirement plans could be part of the sacrifice.
(6) Robert Frost was right when he advocated "The Road Less Taken."

I rejoice in the man of integrity who was my father. He stood in front of a hostile crowd many times at the GBC and in his church to advocate for honesty and a Christlike approach to those the majority wanted to crucify.

He is the most like Christ of any man I have ever known. Even in failure, he maintained his integrity. He refused to participate in ugly politics just to be "successful."

It's too bad men like him are few and far between, but I shall meet him one day in the Land Above for I know he walks with God!!!